Contre qui, rose?
Contre qui, rose,
avez-vous adopté
ces épines?
Votre joie trop fine
vous a-t-elle forcée
de devenir cette chose armée?
Mais de qui vous protège
cette arme exagérée?
Combien d'ennemis vous ai-je
enlevés
qui ne la craignaient point?
Au contraire, d'été en automne,
vous blessez les soins
qu'on vous donne.
--Rainer Maria Rilke
Against whom, O rose,
have you now taken up
all these thorns?
Has your quiet joy
driven you, alas,
to now become this arméd thing?
But from whom are you protected
by this timid show of force?
How many foes have I removed from you
who never feared your thorns?
Ah, but no, from spring to fall,
you have torn the ones
who do you good.
--Tr. Bernard Brandt
posted by Bernard Brandt at 4:47 PM
1 Comments:
The translation is wrong. Mostly the mistakes are just oblique, but there is a complete mistake in translating "été" as spring, when in fact it means summer. Here is my translation, which I think is much closer to the actual poem. I understand that the attempt in the previous translation was to capture the spirit of the poem rather than the language, but even so, it deviates too far from what Rilke had to say. I especially think that the translation of, "vous blessez les soins/qu'on vous donne" should not be translated as "you have torn the ones/who do you good" because that is far from the literal meaning. Literally, it is, "you (hurt/wound) the care/that one gives to you."
Against whom, rose,
did you take up
your thorns?
Has your too fragile joy
forced you
to become such an armed thing?
But from whom
does this exaggerated weapon protect you?
From how many enemies
have I saved you
who do not fear [your thorns] at all?
Not at all, from summer to fall
you wound the affections
one gives to you.
Post a Comment
<< Home